IS THE HEALTH OF YOUR EGO ALLOWING YOU TO ADVANCE YOUR GOALS AND DREAMS?

Throughout my 54 years on the planet, during the times I'm most satisfied with my life, I'm conscientiously reading, reflecting, studying, meditating, and practicing daily study time. This has ALWAYS been true. When I fail to maintain the behaviors that I know to be healthy...my quality-of-life declines. ALWAYS. This truth has nothing to do with personal happiness, professional success or wealth. It's ALL about my brain and what I choose to think about.

This morning, I reviewed Paul Churchill's thoughts about EGO. So true...How is your ego? Is it healthy or unhealthy? More importantly, what will you do today to help it move to a healthier place?

A healthy ego can look something like this:

  • The ability to admit that you're wrong
  • Knowing the source of happiness is internal and not external
  • Allowing arguments to unfold without having the last word
  • Not leaping to defend yourself if you are criticized or insulted
  • Recognizing that offensive remarks made towards you don't have much to do with you
  • Understanding that everything in life is temporary
  • Being able to sit with uncomfortable feelings
  • A loving acceptance of yourself and others
  • Not taking on other people's problems or struggles
  • Being able to establish boundaries with others
  • Having the belief that others are doing their best
  • Regulating your internal state without an external substance
  • Understanding and accepting that you don't have all the answers
  • Recognizing that the only person you can control is yourself
  • Taking responsibility for everything that happens in your life
  • Have an understanding that life isn't happening "to you," but "for you."
A healthy ego allows space for joy and happiness. An unhealthy ego, can look something like this:
  • Allowing a single thought to ruin a morning, day, week or month
  • A baseline of stress is present in your life
  • The inability to forgive yourself and others
  • Defending your ideas, stances and positions at all costs
  • Spending a lot of time and energy fighting "what is"
  • Attaching happiness to external possessions, places, people and things
  • Saying "when this happens" or "when this problem goes away," things will be OK
  • Involving yourself in other people's drama
  • Blaming others for unfortunate circumstances in your own life
  • Using an external substance, person, or activity to soothe inner turmoil
  • Refusal to accept your current life situation
  • Constantly waiting for something to happen before life can be tolerable
  • An addiction or addictions are present in your life
Ego is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as, "a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance." Ultimately, this issue is EVERYTHING about how we feel about ourselves and how we think about the world around us. 

What are we each doing to perpetuate health, both mental and physical?





Andrew (Andy) Kelly is a life-long educator, consultant, and transition specialist; supporting others as they move towards retirement and enjoy their golden years of life!

He can be reached at andrew.kelly@bankerslife.com, radicallytransforminglives@gmail.com or (360) 870-3321.

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